


The Little Life of Sara Lance

by dexparios



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Btw this is actual age regression just not the physical kind, F/F, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23638084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dexparios/pseuds/dexparios
Summary: Before the League of Assassins, Sara Lance dreamed nightly of bonding with a big or little of her own. Knowing that her soulmate was out there gave her unimaginable joy. But once she realized that she would never have that, she dropped the fantasy and tried to forget it. Until she finally bonded with someone unexpected.
Relationships: Dinah Drake/Sandra Woosan, Nyssa al Ghul/Sara Lance
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	1. Tayr Saghir

###  **(Sara’s pov)**

The first time Sara Lance had ever regressed in her life was quite possibly both the scariest day of her life and the best. She had been aware of fateful bonds of bigs and littles, but with her life irreversibly altered by the League of Assassins, she never thought she would experience such a bond. Something like that would weaken her. She was not allowed to be weak nor did she think she was able. Not anymore.

But it happened. Several months into her training, she regressed. She felt herself get clumsier, which she mentally chastised herself for. Had she not gotten enough sleep the night before? It was possible. She still had days where the lack of sleep caught up to her, but they were few and far between.

Then she got scared. Sure, she got scared all the time, but not like this. She hadn’t felt scared like that since her first week in the League of Assassins. But it felt  **different** . It made her feel small. Like a  _ scared child _ .

This made her angry. She wasn’t a child anymore. She couldn’t be. There was no room for childish traits in the fearless assassin that she was becoming. No. That she was. She was an assassin. No, she hadn’t killed anyone yet, but that was what she was. She couldn’t look at it as a possibility or a future outcome. She was an assassin.

She lashed out at Nyssa. Good. She didn’t like her and her anger helped knock her down. She so rarely got that privilege, but using pure strength and anger had worked. This time. It had not in the past and it most likely wouldn’t in the future.

“I’m done,” Sara huffed, throwing her staff on the floor and stomping off to her room, not paying attention to what Nyssa was saying.

As the doors to her quarters closed behind her, something inside her crumbled. A sob ripped from her throat and her knees buckled underneath her. Why the hell was she crying? She wasn’t  **allowed** to cry. She didn’t wanna be weak.

She wanted...She wanted her mama. Where was her mama?

Sara didn’t notice the shift in her thought process. She was far too consumed with the need for her mama that she couldn’t even begin to wonder  _ why. _

Suddenly, the doors slammed open. She could hear her name,  _ Tayr Al Asfar _ , being shouted but she couldn’t comprehend the rest.

Sara scrambled away from the loud noise, flinching and covering her face with her arms. Everything in her body told her that she was in  **danger** . That she was going to be  **hurt** . She wasn’t supposed to cry. She was supposed to be a big girl.

There was more yelling and it scared Sara. She didn’t like it. She didn’t wanna be hurt. But then the yelling stopped and there wasn’t any pain.

Sara cautiously looked up, face still hidden safely behind her arms, and was met with Nyssa’s confused expression several feet away. She knelt down to Sara’s level as if something inside of her told her that she needed to  _ help her _ not yell at her.

“Sara?” she asked gently. Nyssa had never called her Sara before.

“Mama?” Sara’s voice was soft and scared, but so desperately filled with some sort of hope.

Nyssa moved forward to wrap her arms around Sara’s small, trembling form. “Shhh, Habibti, shhh. Mama’s here.”

Sara flinched and tensed at the action but quickly relaxed into the embrace. “P’ease don’t hurt me…” she mumbled into Nyssa’s shoulder.

“Never. I would never harm you, Beloved.”

Large, blue puppy dog eyes looked into Nyssa’s brown ones. There was no malice in her mama’s eyes. Only love. Sara’s arms fell out of their protective shield and wrapped around Nyssa, fully reciprocating the hug.

***

###  **(Nyssa’s pov)**

Nyssa had been taught of the sacred bond between bigs and littles. For those of high status, it was something to be sought after. Despite being told by many how special that bond was, she never was able to imagine what something like that would feel like. How could she, when she hadn’t known much of love at all?

She most certainly hadn’t expected it to happen when it did nor with who it happened with. She despised Tayr Al Asfar. She did not understand what her father saw in her. She was weak and could barely keep up with Nyssa on a good day.

But Sara? That small girl she had stormed in on who had been crying? Something about seeing Sara in such a state both made her heart swell and break at the same time. She felt  **guilty** for yelling at her. She was just a child, no matter how big her body was.

The instinct to wrap the girl up in the tightest hug she could manage overwhelmed her, but she made sure to be gentle. She did not wish to harm or frighten Sara more than she already had.

When that single word,  _ mama, _ came from Sara’s lips, it finally clicked. Sara was her little and Nyssa was Sara’s big. Her mama.

The amount of love and concern she felt for the little assassin was indescribable. She could only say that it was the first time she had ever really, truly loved someone and that she loved Sara with her entire heart.

When the small girl finally looked up at Nyssa again, her face was bright red and covered with tears and snot.

Nyssa gave Sara a genuine smile, something she rarely did. “Hello,” she whispered.

Sara’s red face lit up with her smile. “Hi.”

The drastic change in Sara’s demeanor surprised her, but she was happy that the girl felt better. 

“Would you like a bath?” 

She wasn’t entirely sure if Sara would be amicable to the suggestion of a bath so, she simply asked rather than told. If the answer was no, she would wipe down the girl’s face and arms and then they could do whatever Sara would like. Within reason, of course. Considering how the last thirty minutes had gone, she wanted to take things slow.

Sara nervously nodded. Nyssa knew she most likely felt unwell and, judging from the color of her face, very warm. Perhaps a nice, cool bath would help.

***

###  **(Sara’s pov)**

Sara squealed happily as she slapped at the water and watched it splash onto the floor, just barely missing her mama.

Nyssa laughed at seeing her little so happy, but gently chastised Sara. “Habibti, you are going to get mama wet. You don’t want that, do you?”

“Uh-huh!” She  **did** want to get mama wet! It was fun and then mama could have a bath like her. She liked baths and wanted her mama to have one too.

“But I  _ don’t  _ want to be wet. It is your bathtime, Beloved, not mine.”

Sara pouted, pulling out the puppy dog eyes as well.

Nyssa smiled and shook her head. “Those will not work on me, Beloved.” Nyssa’s heart may have been softened by her little one, but it seemed that she was, in fact, immune to Sara’s puppy dog eyes.

Sara’s pout deepened and she crossed her arms over her chest. And, as if Nyssa knew that she was about to throw a tantrum, her arms came flying forward, nimble fingers attacking Sara’s sides.

Sara squealed and kicked as her mama tickled her. “No! Mama, no tickle!” she yelled through her giggles.

“There’s my pretty girl’s smile.”

Nyssa looked around at the water on the floor and down her clothes. So much for not getting wet.

Sara smiled brightly. “Mama wet!”

Nyssa chuckled. “Yes, mama’s wet. And you, my Tayr Saghir, are all clean. I believe it is time to get out.”

“Otay.”

Sara liked baths, but she supposed getting out wasn’t so bad. Her fingers were all pruny and she wanted to cuddle with mama.

***

###  **(Nyssa’s pov)**

After changing Sara into a fresh pair of comfy clothes, with some difficulty because of Sara’s squirminess, Nyssa changed into a pair of Sara’s clothes. Nyssa’s room was too far away for her to leave Sara by herself or to bring her with her in fear of Sara’s little status being revealed, so she simply borrowed something from Sara. 

Sara was already lying on the bed, trying not to fall asleep as she laid on the comfortable bed. Her eyelids were heavy and she was slowly sucking on her thumb. Nyssa’s heart soared at the image. The girl was absolutely adorable and so very small. If anyone saw this, it would get out and she wasn’t sure what would happen. Would they still train her when she was small? And if she couldn’t train, would they harm her? Kill her? She couldn’t bear to think of that. She would simply hope that no one would see her beloved like this.

“Come here, Habibti.” Nyssa climbed underneath the covers and pulled Sara against her, gently stroking her hair.

Sara snuggled into Nyssa’s chest, sucking harder on her thumb. “Wuv ‘ou, Mama,” she mumbled around her thumb.

“I love you too. Always. Good night, Tayr Saghir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tayr Saghir = Little Bird
> 
> I'm especially proud of this fic so, I hope you guys like it! Next week I'll be posting the next chapter since I already have 2 & 3 complete and am currently working on 4. Also if there's anything you guys wanna see in future chapters, let me know! I am more than happy to take requests for this fic


	2. Adventures and Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyssa and Sara finally go out shopping for some of the little things they need for Sara, but the adventure ends quite unexpectedly.

###  **(Sara’s pov)**

A teary-eyed Sara made her way through the fortress and quietly opened the doors to Nyssa’s room. She was too scared to say anything, but her mama was a light sleeper, so she didn’t have to.

“Tayr Al -” Nyssa stopped. “Sara?” she asked in a softer voice.

The softness in her mama’s voice made Sara start crying. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe because she was scared of disappointing her. Or maybe because she was scared of  **upsetting** her and being hurt.

Nyssa climbed out of her bed and scooped Sara up into her arms. “It’s alright,” she comforted “What’s wrong, Habibti?”

Sara’s bottom lip trembled and more tears streamed from her eyes. “Had assident.”

Nyssa gave Sara a soft smile. “That’s alright. We will get you cleaned up.”

Sara frowned and laid her head on Nyssa’s shoulder, nodding.

Nyssa laid Sara on the bed, cleaning her up before getting her into a clean pair of pants.

“Now, I don’t have any diapers, Beloved, but I promise we will get you some tomorrow.”

“Otay,” Sara replied sleepily, reaching out for her mama to come cuddle her.

Nyssa laid down next to Sara and pulled her into her arms, kissing her cheeks and forehead causing Sara to giggle.

“Wuv you, Mama.”

“And I love you, Sara.”

***

###  **(Nyssa’s pov)**

“Mama, where we going?” Nyssa’s little one asked as they walked down the crowded sidewalk.

“We’re going shopping, Tayr Saghir, don’t you remember?”

Sara seemed to think about the question before nodding. “Can we get breakfast?”

“Of course, Habibti. I wouldn’t want my beloved to go hungry, would I?” Nyssa got a mischievous look in her eye and her fingers made beeline for Sara’s tummy. Sara squealed loudly and tried to push Nyssa’s hands away. 

“No tickles! No tickles, Mama!”

“No tickles?” Nyssa asked, expression overdramatically shocked. “But you like tickles.”

Sara pulled a similarly fake grumpy face. “Nuh-uh. No wike ‘em.”

“Oh no. I suppose no more tickles for my beloved then.”

Sara’s eyes immediately widened at the thought of no more tickles forever. “No! I wike ‘em! I wike ‘em, Mama!”

Nyssa chuckled, kissing Sara’s forehead. “I thought so,” she said, lightly tickling Sara’s belly for effect. “How about breakfast, Habibti?”

“Want choc chip cakes, Mama.”

“What do we say, Beloved?”

“P’ease?”

Nyssa grinned. “Good girl. Let’s get you your pancakes, little one.”

Surprisingly, they managed to get through breakfast without a big mess and minimal squirming when Nyssa had to wipe the remnants of the pancakes from her little one’s face.

Sara was now overflowing with excitement and running ahead of Nyssa. “Sara, Beloved, please slow down.”

“But mama!” she protested.

“No buts, Habibti. Mama doesn’t want you to get lost.”

Sara huffed and begrudgingly walked back to Nyssa.

Nyssa held her hand out for Sara to take. “I would be lonely without my little one by my side, you know.”

Sara’s eyes widened at the suggestion of her mama being lonely and quickly took her hand. This made Nyssa smile triumphantly. She was officially excelling at both assassination and talking down a chaotic three-year-old. It wasn’t so different if you thought about it. They both had to be done quickly and strategically or else you’d end up with a disaster at hand.

***

###  **(Sara’s pov)**

The store was filled with bright colors and cool toys, mesmerizing Sara as they walked in. She immediately wanted to touch everything and throw it into their cart, but mama seemed to have other ideas. Before Sara could get too close to anything, she’d be pulled away and diverted to whatever they were supposed to be getting.

Soon, Sara was throwing herself onto the floor, screaming her little head off and kicking whatever she could reach.

“Sara, get up right now. We do not throw tantrums.”

“No!” Sara yelled at the top of her lungs, kicking harder at her mama’s legs.

“Sara, I know you wish to have toys, but if my father finds out what you are, I do not know what he’ll do to you. Now, if you’re good, you may get a toy and a pacifier. One.”

Sara huffed, defiantly kicking Nyssa once more for effect. “Stupid mama...” she grumbled under her breath.

“Sara Lance, what did you say to me?”

Sara’s eyes widened and her face turned a sickly pale at the sound of Nyssa’s firm and possibly angry voice.

“Sara…” Mama’s voice was softer now, but it did nothing to soothe her panicked state. She quickly backed away.

“Sara, I am so sorry.” Nyssa knelt down and reached out to comfort Sara.

Sara bolted.

***

###  **(Nyssa’s pov)**

“Sara!” Nyssa’s voice was panicked as she watched Sara run into the crowd of people and then out of the store.

Nyssa had never felt as much fear as when she lost sight of Sara.

“Sara!” she called out again as she rushed out of the store.

With each minute that passed with no sign of Sara, Nyssa grew more and more anxious. What if she never found her Tayr Saghir? What if she was harmed before she found her? She would never forgive herself. She shouldn’t have yelled at the girl. She should have let her get the toys. She should have held onto her. So many shoulds and shouldn’ts. It was all her fault.

“Sara, please! I’m sorry I yelled, Habibti!”

Nyssa placed a hand over her mouth, muffling her sobs as she leaned down and braced herself against her knees.

She lost Sara.

She must’ve been so scared. Even more scared than Nyssa was. Nyssa was terrified of never seeing her little one again, but Sara? She was more than likely  **petrified** that Nyssa hated her and wanted to harm her. She would  _ never _ , but Sara didn’t know that. No matter how many times Nyssa reassured her, she would likely never fully understand. Fear overrode logic, especially if you were little.

After another minute, Nyssa managed to compose herself and continued looking for her little girl. Within another block, she heard loud, wailing cries. It must’ve been Sara. It had to be. Who else would be screaming and crying a mile away from where Sara had run away.

When she rounded the corner, the cries grew louder and seemed to echo. She peered into a closed-off alleyway and relief immediately washed over the woman. She wanted to sweep Sara into her arms, but she knew she had to take this slow. If she didn’t, she risked making the situation worse.

“Sara. Beloved.” Nyssa gently called as she sat down at the opening of the alleyway.

Sara jumped at the sudden intrusion. “Go ‘way…”

“I am not going anywhere, Habibti. And I am not going to harm you. I swear it.”

Sara shook her head and placed her head back onto her knees. “Mama mad.”

“Mama’s not mad, Little One. But I am very sorry that I yelled. It wasn’t nice, was it?”

Sara’s bottom lip trembled as she looked back up and shook her head. “Not nice. Scawy.”

“I know, Beloved. And Mama’s very sorry. I should not have yelled.”

“Mama sowwy?”

“Yes, Habibti. Very much so.”

Sara looked up at Nyssa cautiously. There was a long pause, but Sara finally lifted up her arms for Nyssa to pick her up. The poor thing must’ve been tired.

“Come here, Beloved,” Nyssa murmured as she picked the sweet girl up. “Mama’s here.”

They made their way back to the store and before Nyssa could wrap up the shopping trip completely, she carried a sleeping Sara to the toy aisle and then down the aisle with the pacifiers. At first, Nyssa wasn’t entirely sure what her little one would like but as soon as she saw them, she knew exactly what to get.

A small, yellow, crocheted bird, a pacifier with a bird on it, and another pacifier with a ninja.

***

###  **(Sara’s pov)**

A groggy Sara woke up, surrounded by the warmth of another person and blankets on top of her. She rubbed at her eyes, making a small mewling sound. She felt icky.

“Mama,” she whined.

“Shhh, Little One,” her mama comforted, rubbing her back and cuddling her closer. “Everything’s alright.”

Tears filled the little’s eyes but before she could start to cry, her mama kissed her forehead and asked: “Would you like to see what I got you?”

Sara nodded slowly, trying to keep her tears at bay. “Uh-huh.”

When her mama got up Sara started to whimper, unhappy with the fact that she had left her by herself despite only being a few feet away. But like the unpredictable toddler she was, the sight of her mama’s face made her smile.

“Look what mama got you, Habibti. I hope you like them.”

Nyssa held out her hands and, in them, were her presents.

Sara gasped excitedly, her troubles long forgotten. “That one wike Mama,” she said, poking the pacifier that had a little ninja on the front. “And those ones wike me.”

“That’s exactly right. Do you like them, Beloved?”

Sara popped the ninja pacifier into her mouth and cuddled the other presents to her chest. “Uh-huh,” she replied, nodding her head enthusiastically. “Tank ‘ou, Mama.”

“You’re very welcome, Little One.”


	3. A New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyssa is out on a mission and Sara regresses while she's gone and meets someone new

###  (Sara’s pov)

Sara had always found it easy to not regress when she shouldn’t. She could typically hold it off for several days, if necessary, (Could being the optimal word here. Should was an entirely different story). If worse came to worse, she could typically leave the room before fully regressing.

But this time, she hadn’t seen Nyssa in nearly a week which meant that she had been forcing herself to be an adult. That definitely spelled trouble, but she knew she couldn’t take care of herself when small nor did she want to be small away from Nyssa.

She had felt... **off** since the day before, but she had tried to ignore it and she did a pretty good job of it. So good that she didn’t know she was regressing until it happened.

She stomped her feet and threw her blade into the wall. She fell onto her butt and crossed her arms. She was  _ not _ happy. She didn’t wanna be little. She wanted her mama. And she definitely didn’t want to be little in front of all of these people. Stupid League of Assassins.

Luckily, no one noticed that there was a pouty little sitting on the training room floor. Or so she thought.

She wanted to get up and go to her quarters, but she just couldn’t make herself. Her legs didn’t wanna work. Stupid legs. Just work!

After another minute of not being able to move, tears welled in her eyes and she began to whimper. She just wanted to go to her room and she wanted her mama. What was taking her so long? Sure, before they bonded Nyssa could’ve been out on a mission for months but now? She was never gone for longer than a few days. It had been a whole week!

“Hey, you okay?” came an unfamiliar voice causing Sara to flinch and let out a cry.

Despite the fact that she was obviously upset, Sara nodded. If she said she was alright, the lady would leave her alone. ‘Cause she was s’posed to be a big girl and big girls were always okay.

“You know, my little boy was a lot like you. Always pretending to be big when he wasn’t. I always saw through him, just like I can see right through you.”

She really could tell that she was little? Was she gonna tell on her? She didn’t want her to tell. She’d never see her mama again if someone told on her.

“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. Our little secret.” With the smile that came with the last sentence, Sara figured that the pun was intended. “What’s your name?”

  
“Sawa.”

“Hi, Sara,” the lady said, giving her a small wave. “I’m Ayda.”

Sara waved back. She didn’t know what to say back. Actually, she didn’t think she could even if she wanted to. Was she a baby? She felt kinda like a baby.

“Do you need help, Sara?”

Sara nodded. She really, really needed help. She reached out her arms to be picked up. Ayda looked strong enough to pick her up. She hoped she was.

“You got it, Munchkin.” Ayda picked Sara up with some difficulty. “Where’s your room?”

Sara led Ayda to her room as best as she could, pointing down the halls.

“Where’s your big at, Sweetie?”

“Mama bye-bye.”

“Your mama went bye-bye? Is she on a mission?”

Sara nodded.

  
“Well, I’m sure she’ll be back soon, Munchkin. Until then, we’ll just have to play together, huh?”

Sara grinned and nodded her head quicker than she probably ever had before.

“Do you have any toys?”

Sara pointed to the dresser. She knew the few things she had were stashed  **behind** the dresser, but had no way of telling Ayda this. But once Ayda didn’t find anything in the drawers, she looked behind the dresser. She pulled out one of the pacifiers and the small plush bird. “Is that it, Munchkin?”

Sara nodded once again, unable to do much else.

“You know what? I still have some of Akeem’s old toys. Do you want me to go get them?”

Sara nodded excitedly, clapping her hands. “Toys!”

“Stay here, okay, Munchkin? I’ll be right back.”

***

###  (Nyssa’s pov)

Nyssa wasn’t entirely sure what to expect when she got back. She had left a week ago and Sara regularly regressed at least several times a week so, it was likely that Sara would be little but it was also possible that she had fought it the entire time and would regress as soon as she saw Nyssa.

But this? This was certainly not what she had expected. An  **assassin** whom she barely knew playing with Sara on the floor of her bedroom. She did not take kindly to strangers interacting with Sara when she was little.

“Get up. Now,” she growled, aiming her bow and arrow at the woman. 

“Mama!” Sara shrieked excitedly. “Up! Up!”

“One moment, Habibti.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean any harm. She was alone and I just wanted to help.”

“If you want to help, you will leave.” Nyssa stepped closer. “And you will not speak of this to anyone. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, of course. I’d never do that. Littles are...everything. They don’t deserve a life like...that.” A look of sadness or maybe grief showed on the woman’s features. “Keep the toys. I don’t have much use for them anymore.”

Once the doors closed and the woman was gone, Nyssa scooped her little one up. “I missed you so much, Tayr Saghir,” she said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Are you alright?”

Sara nodded excitedly. “Toys! Mama, toys!”

The limited speech was new. Was Sara younger? Or had Nyssa traumatized by leaving for so long?

“Habibti, how old are you? Do you know?”

Sara shrugged before holding up one finger. By the look on the little’s face, Nyssa could tell that even she wasn’t quite sure. The answer gave her more information than she had though. It was obvious that Sara was one, at the oldest, but it was very likely that she was younger even just by a few months.

“Would you like to show me your toys, Beloved?”

Sara gave another excited nod. “Toys!”

As they sat down and played with the toys, Nyssa asked: “Do you know who that woman was, Habibti?”   
  


“Ayda. Nice,” she replied, not looking up as she pressed random buttons on a brightly colored fake phone.

“I’m very glad she was nice but we do not know her, Habibti,” she cautioned. “We have to be careful, remember?”   
  


“Ayda pay?”

“I don’t know, Beloved. We will have to see.”

This Ayda woman would have to work hard to gain Nyssa’s trust, but if she did in fact gain it, she could be a very valuable resource. It wasn’t safe to leave Sara alone for as long as she had and if it happened again and no one was there when Sara regressed (especially at this age)... Nyssa didn’t want to think about what could happen.

She would have to thank Ayda, at the very least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how this story is unfolding and it seems like you guys do too! Thank you guys for all of the kudos. It means a lot to me. I have a lot planned for this series and I hope you guys will stick with me for the entirety of it!


	4. Sick Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara gets sick for the first time while regressed and she may feel miserable but she meets a new friend and spends more time with Ayda!

###  (Nyssa’s pov)

Nyssa paced back and forth, bouncing Sara in her arms as the poor thing wailed and whimpered. She couldn’t blame her for being so upset. Her head was hot against Nyssa’s neck and she couldn’t imagine what else she must’ve been experiencing with how painful her cries sounded.

All Nyssa wanted to do was make her little one feel better, but nothing seemed to work. She had given Sara flu medicine with nothing less than a ten minute fight to get her to take the ‘icky’ medicine, as Sara had called it and now she just had to wait for it to take effect.

“Would you like to take a bath, Tayr Saghir? It will help bring your fever down.” It would also give Nyssa a chance to set the little one down to stretch her sore back out.

Sara whined and nodded. Nyssa had hoped that would be her answer. Sara loved baths and Nyssa hoped it would help her feel better emotionally as well as physically.

Sara mewled pathetically as Nyssa laid her down on the bed to draw her a bath, but didn’t protest too greatly. The sight saddened Nyssa. In any other situation, but especially after a fit that made her tired and cranky, Sara would’ve demanded to be taken with Nyssa but the effort seemed to cost more energy than she wished to spend.

Nyssa turned the faucet on and plugged up the drain before lying back down with Sara as she waited for the tub to fill up. Sara cuddled into Nyssa, curling into a ball and making herself as small as possible.

Nyssa simply laid in bed with her little one, stroking her hair and comforting in every way she knew until the tub was partially filled.

Sara had started to fall asleep and Nyssa felt bad for waking the fussy little, but she was still radiating far too much heat for either of them to be comfortable. “Come, Habibti. Bathtime.”

Sarah shook her head, whining uncomfortably. “Nuh-uh. No bath.”

No bath? Sara was usually more than excited. She must’ve felt worse than Nyssa had thought. “Please, Habibti? I promise it will make you feel better.”

Sara shook her head adamantly, but Nyssa knew she wouldn’t put up much of a fight so she undressed her before carrying her to the bathtub.

Her little bird relaxed as soon as she was placed in the cool water, all of the tension flooding from her body. She rubbed her wet hands over her face before shoving her thumb into her mouth. Nyssa let it slide just this once. With how awful the girl felt and her pacifier being just a bit too far away, the girl certainly needed the comfort.

Nyssa murmured careful, loving praise as she gently ran a wet washcloth over the warm skin.

By the end, Sara seemed much more alert, if sleepy, and her skin had cooled down drastically. There was still a slight fever, but Nyssa hoped the medicine would take care of the last of it.

Nyssa pulled Sara out of the bath, dried her off, and then dressed her in just a thin shirt and a diaper. Anything else would’ve been far too warm, especially if her fever spiked again in the middle of the night.

As soon as Nyssa wrapped herself around Sara, the little canary was out like a light.

***

###  (Sara’s pov)

As Sara woke late in the morning, her body ached and shook. Her tummy felt icky and her throat was scratchy and hurty. All of this combined into one made her whine and whimper. When she rolled over, she was met with cold sheets and not her warm mama. This, on top of everything else, made her feel as if her whole world was crashing down all around her.

She wailed at the top of her lungs, tears bursting from her eyes. “MAMAAAAAAA!” she yelled, causing her throat to hurt more which made her cry even harder.

Then cool hands were being pressed against her cheeks. “Shhh, Habibti. Everything is alright. Mama is right here, Tayr Saghir.”

Sara collapsed into her mama’s chest, wailing louder and beginning to hyperven- what was that word? She suddenly couldn’t remember big words like that. But she was taking big, fast breaths.

“Mama!” she cried again, clinging to her mama.

“Breathe, Habibti. You are alright. I promise. Take slow breaths, Beloved.”

Sara shook her head harder than she ever had, soaking her mama’s shirt with her tears.

“Look at me, Habibti. Can you do that for mama?”

It took several seconds, but Sara looked up, vision blurry and distorted. 

“Good,” her mama praised. “Can you take some breaths with me?”

Sara shook her head again. Her lungs seemed to have a mind of their own. They took in far too much air to be comfortable and spasmed and hitched between, and even in the middle of, her breaths.

“You are strong, Beloved. You can.”

Sara nodded her head, but she wasn’t sure she believed it.

The first few breaths were ragged and fast but as the minutes passed, they slowed and steadied to match her mama’s.

Sara laid her head against Nyssa’s chest, exhausted despite waking up only minutes before.

“You did very well, Habibti. I’m proud of you.”

***

###  (Ayda’s pov)

Ayda had tried to mind her own business. She really did, but hearing Sara’s cries made her think of Akeem. Reminded her too much of all the times he had been sick and...and when he had died. She still remembered his cries for help and how she had been unable to answer them.

She had to help. She wasn’t entirely sure if her help would be wanted, but she had to offer. So, she knocked on the door and waited.

She was met with Nyssa who seemed exhausted, but had clearly put up her cold and grumpy mask.

“Hey... I, uh, just wanted to see if you and your munchkin could use some help. Sounds like you’re having a bit of a rough time in there.”

“We are just fine. Thank you.”

“Look, like I said before, I used to have a little. I know what it’s like not to get any sleep because you’re too worried about them suffocating on their own puke or their fever spiking too high while you’re asleep. I can take care of her while you rest. You’ve gotta be tired.”

Nyssa paused. “Come in,” she said seemingly reluctantly.

Sara was sat on a small loveseat in the corner of the room, eyes shut and her thumb in her mouth. “Hey, Munchkin. Your mama told me you weren’t feeling well.”

Sara whined and reached out, eyes still closed and mumbling something around her thumb that sounded a bit like ‘Ayda’. “Yeah, it’s Ayda. Did you miss me? I sure missed you.”

The little’s hands reached out, fingers opening and closing. “You want up, Munchkin? I can definitely do that.” Ayda picked the girl up with a noticeable groan and grimace. Old injuries were hell, but getting to hold this little one was worth it.

“You really don’t have to -” Nyssa started before Ayda cut her off.

“But I want to. And you look tired as hell so, no matter how much you refuse to admit it, I know. I’ve been there. It sucks. No matter how much you love your kid, it sucks. Now, go. Get some sleep. Sleep in Sara’s bed, if you need to. I won’t hurt her, but if you feel better being close to her, by all means.”

  
  


Ayda knew such a compromise wouldn’t exactly let Nyssa get the desired amount of sleep but considering how protective the woman was (and rightly so) of her little, it was the best option.

Once Nyssa was (uncomfortably) in the bed, Ayda sat down with Sara in her lap. Her thumb had been swapped out for a pacifier and a small blanket had been placed over her.

“Sleep well, Munchkin.”

***

###  (Nyssa’s pov)

After their last excursion out into the world, Nyssa had been  **nervous** to bring Sara out again but with Ayda’s promise to never let go of the little’s hand, her nerves were  _ slightly _ quelled. She still wasn’t entirely sure if she trusted her, but there was only one way to find out and it was to let her prove herself. Having another set of hands to manage the three year old certainly wouldn’t hurt and could only make things better.

Sara pushed away her bowl of oatmeal, which Ayda quickly grabbed before it could fall off of the table.

“Sara,” Nyssa sighed. “You have to eat, Habibti.”

“Nuh-uh. Icky.”

“Hey, Munchkin? Can you just take one bite for me and your mama? If you don’t like it, we can get you something else. But if you do, you have to eat at least some of it. If you don’t eat, you’ll be super grumpy and I’m sure that’ll make your mama sad.”

Sara frowned and glanced over at Nyssa. “Mama doesn’t want her beloved to be grumpy.”

Finally, Sara opened her mouth for her breakfast. In any normal circumstance, she could feed herself but she was sick and cranky, so they took it as a win and Nyssa guided the spoon into her little one’s mouth.

There was a look of trepidation with the first bite, but Sara quickly asked for more. With Nyssa feeding her, there was less mess than usual but she somehow still managed to get it on her face with every bite.

Once breakfast was eaten, the three of them headed towards the park. They, especially Nyssa, hoped it would be empty. Sara was both excited to meet other littles and nervous. She openly expressed that she didn’t want them to get in trouble if someone they knew saw and that she didn’t want anyone to be mean.

Nyssa and Ayda both promised that no one would be mean, but neither seemed to have the strength to  **lie** and say that no one would tell. If someone loyal to Ra’s witnessed Sara playing on the playground, they would report their findings and that would be the beginning of the end.

But they both knew that Sara deserved to be able to play outside like any normal little. Maybe not as much as a normal little could, but as much as they could safely manage. So when they found the park empty, they let Sara run and play for as long as she wanted. They were nearing forty-five minutes before a little and their big made their way into the park. Sara’s eyes widened and she ran back to Nyssa, hiding behind her.

“Wan’ go home.”

“You sure, Munchkin?” Ayda asked. “If it’s okay with your mama, I think it’d be good for you to make a friend.”

Sara looked hesitantly up at Nyssa.

“Go on, Habibti,” Nyssa encouraged. She knew having friends around her age would be helpful and she didn’t want to prevent her from making any.

Sara swallowed hard, glancing back at the girl and her carer. Nyssa watched as she slowly walked up to the pair.

“Hi,” Sara greeted in a soft voice.

The girl opposite to her grinned. “Hey! I’m Dinah. What’s your name?”

“Sawa.”

“Hi, Sara. You wanna go play on the jungle gym together?”

Sara glanced back at Nyssa and Ayda before nodding. “Yeah…”

“Awesome, come on!”

Nyssa watched Dinah’s caregiver closely as the two girls played. She felt as if she  _ knew _ her, but she couldn’t quite place why and it made her uneasy. So did the fact that she made no attempt to greet them. She just  **stood** there with what seemed like a scowl sitting on her face.

So Nyssa decided to make the first move. “Hello,” she greeted, sticking her hand out. “I am Nyssa. Sara’s big.”

The woman’s eyes glanced down at Nyssa’s hand and then back up at her, her scowl deepening. “Sandra. And, as you probably assumed, Dinah’s big.”

“Well, I am... _ pleased _ to meet you. It seems the two littles like each other. It will be Sara’s first time meeting another little,” Nyssa replied tensely.

Sandra hummed, seemingly judgmentally. “I would not have guessed.”

What the hell was  **that** supposed to mean? Nyssa could feel her face heating up as she clenched her jaw. “Yes, she’s been rather confined these past several months.”

An angry, unintelligible yell came from behind them. 

“You tripped me!” Dinah yelled before slamming her hands into Sara, pushing her down. Sara let out a wail, tears springing from her eyes.

“Dinah!”

“Sara!”

“Dinah Drake, get down here right now.”

Nyssa immediately rushed up the stairs onto the jungle gym and picked Sara up. Sara buried her face in Nyssa’s shoulder, sobbing and taking in uneven, hitching breaths.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt her!”

Nyssa’s maternal instincts made her want to protect her little at any cost, but this just seemed like a case of unchecked emotions and misunderstandings.

“It’s alright, Dinah. I do not think she is hurt. Should we ask her?”

Dinah nodded, guilt clear as day in her expression.

Nyssa gently placed Sara down. “Beloved, Dinah says she is very sorry and she wishes to make sure you’re alright.”

The poor thing was still crying, but managed to nod her head. “Scawed me,”

Dinah’s frown deepened and her eyes widened. “I’m sorry I scared you. I just got really mad. My mommy says I need to...to have more control over my feelings. They just get really big sometimes and I dunno what to do with them.”

Sara sniffed and laid her head on Nyssa’s leg, nodding.

“My beloved has difficulties controlling hers as well. She gets sad a lot and frightened. We are working on that. Isn’t that right, Habibti?”

Sara nodded again. “Yeah…” she said as her tears slowed down.

“Maybe we can play together again sometime. And we can try to help each other with that stuff.”

Nyssa hesitated. The girl seemed sweet, but her big? She wasn’t quite so sure. “I think if your mommy will allow it, Sara would enjoy that very much. Right, Sara?”

Sara nodded. “Pway wif Dinah.”

Dinah grinned. “Mommy! Shiva! Can me and Sara play again another time? I promise we won’t fight.”

Nyssa felt her stomach drop. Shiva. She knew that name. Just like she knew she had recognized her earlier, but hadn’t realized why until now.

Lady Shiva.

Nyssa stood, her entire body tense. She took Sara by the hand and helped her stand. “Sara, we need to go. Now.”

“But Mama-” she started to complain.

“Now,” Nyssa repeated, voice low and dangerous.

Tears suddenly filled Sara’s eyes and it made Nyssa feel awful, but she just wanted to get them away from the ex-assassin. She probably shouldn’t judge considering both Sara and her were  **current** assassins, but she couldn’t take any chances. She would keep Sara safe at any cost.

“Bye, Sara!” Dinah called, waving goodbye.

Sara simply looked back at Dinah with tear filled eyes and gave a small wave before the family unit left.


	5. Art of Defense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyssa finally gives little Sara some needed self defense lessons

###  (Sara’s pov)

Ayda had recently talked Nyssa into giving Sara training lessons while she was little. Nyssa had been unhappy with it, but she did agree that if anything happened Sara should at least know how to get out of a bad situation. Sara wasn’t sure she agreed. Mainly because it scared her. She didn’t want to get hurt or (somehow) hurt someone else.

Her mama kneeled down, sighing. “Remember, Habibti, this is  **only** to be used if you have no other options. I am not teaching you for any other reason than to protect yourself.”

Sara nodded. “Otay,”

“Do you remember the first thing we do if we are in trouble?”

“Run.”

“Yes, exactly. Or we hide. But when we cannot do that, we have to fight back. Now, I want to show you how to block an attack.”

For the next hour, they spent their time slowly going through the motions of blocking an attack until Sara was able to do it fairly well without any help. So far, it wasn’t as scary as she thought it would be but she was basically just slamming her arm into her mama’s. She expected the next lesson to be scarier but maybe it’d just be kinda fun like this time.

***

###  (Nyssa’s pov)

As Sara sat in her lap and Nyssa cleaned the minor scrapes on Sara’s knees, she couldn’t help but think about how training would likely never save her beloved’s life. With how long all of the other assassins had trained compared to Sara just starting… It wouldn’t be enough. She hoped it would but the likelihood of Sara being able to stave off an attack from an assassin that had the order to kill, harm, or bring her in? Low.

But she was going to nurture the fighter in Sara as much as she could. She hoped her plan didn’t backfire on her. With Sara already having a heightened fight or flight response…

“Would you like me to do your hair, Habibti?”

Sara nodded excitedly. “P’ease, Mama!”

Sara’s excitement made Nyssa’s worries slip away and she slid Sara off of her lap to grab the brush and some hair ties. Nyssa carefully brushed out the knots before dividing Sara’s hair down the middle and then putting her hair into pigtails.

“Turn around, Habibti?”

Sara turned to face Nyssa, hands on her hips and a grin on her face.

“Perfect. You look beautiful.”

“Weally?”

“Yes, really.” A mischievous grin took over Nyssa’s face and she pulled Sara back into her, kissing her face and tickling her. “The most beautiful.”

Sara screeched and laughed at the top of her lungs. “Mama! I pwetty!”

“You are! You are very pretty!” Nyssa said through her own laughs as she continued to tickle her beloved.

As the laughs died down, they both sat on the floor. Sara looked tired and Nyssa could only imagine that she looked how she felt. Both melancholic and blissful. She loved moments like these with Sara. Where nothing else in the world seemed to matter to her little girl. Just her and her mama.

But sometimes, Nyssa couldn’t help but think about never seeing Sara’s joyful smile or even her tear streaked face ever again. One mistake and it’d all be over.

  
So, she decided to enjoy this moment and held Sara as tight as she could while making sure that she didn’t hurt her.

“You know I love you, do you not, Habibti?”

Sara nodded, a sleepy smile pulling at her lips. “Wuv you, Mama.”

“Are you happy, Beloved?” Nyssa knew the answer, but she really just wanted to hear it.

“Mm-hm,” she mumbled. “Weally happy, Mama.”

Sara’s eyes were starting to close as they spoke. It was definitely past her bedtime, but Nyssa wanted to sit with her for just a little bit longer as she stroked the soft blonde hair and held Sara close.

“Would you like to go to bed, Beloved?” Nyssa asked several minutes later, but she was met with light, even breathing.

Nyssa smiled at the sight of her little one looking so utterly soft and vulnerable. She always looked so small when she slept. When she was awake, the past sometimes crept into her eyes, showing her big age and then some. But when she was asleep, that all went away and she truly looked like a toddler.

Nyssa easily carried Sara into the bed and pulled her close again, kissing her head and then closing her own eyes. Sleep rarely came easy for Nyssa but that night, it did.


End file.
